She's here!!!

Madison Kelly Lindner is finally here!

This birth story is a long one but I want moms that are considering a natural birth to know that it's not that bad. I think having anxiety about giving birth is normal but after reading so many scary stories, I wanted to post a real positive and exciting tale that will hopefully ease some minds.

For those of you who don't know, I went in to preterm labor at 32 weeks. You can read all about that here. I was on bed rest for 6 weeks thinking this baby was going to come everyday. It was tough thinking that each day she should come and it was even worse having everyone ask if she was coming soon. By 39 weeks I was physically and emotionally tired. I just wanted the baby here so bad. The back and hip pains mixed with irregular contractions started to mentally pull me apart. I often wondered if I was really going to be strong enough for a natural labor that Todd and I have hopped and studied for for the last nine months.

On September 22, 2010 I was 39 weeks and 2 days. I was excited all day because it was going to be a full harvest moon that night. I figured if I mixed every house wife tale together, labor would HAVE to start. I ate eggplant the night before. I walked 4 miles everyday in the park to keep a routine, but on this day I walked with one foot on the pavement and one on the curb. For dinner, all I wanted was some Mexican food so Todd and I went to Tinga. It was 2 entrees, 2 appetizers, for $20. You can't beat that.

We had a massive thunderstorm around 8pm and it continued on until 10pm, when we went to bed. I went to bed thinking that this could really be the night. At 12:40 I woke up to go to the bathroom and was so disappointed to see that my water had not broken yet. Of course, I thought I would SEE it and not FEEL it. I have always in visioned how we would start laboring. It was more like when Lucy told Ricky “it was time”. Nice and calm. At 1:48 am I was laying on my left side and so was Todd, right behind me. The sudden burst of the dam was so projectile and so alarming that I, uncontrollably screamed out..”MY WATER BROKE”. It was more of a “Todd watch out”! Todd’s reaction was “Are you sure? OH MY GOD!”

Todd ran and got me towels so I could move to the bathroom. I sat on the toilette and called my doula. When I called her, she asked if my contractions had started. I said no, I just had massive pressure in the rear. Laura told me to go back to bed and rest up. HA. Yeah right. I got back in to bed and the contractions started quick. Todd started to time them. I called mom to tell her that the baby was coming and she should start driving. These contractions were strong but not painful per say. I just couldn't move when they were happening. Todd called out 3 mins. We timed another one. 3 mins. I started to get nervous because I knew I was so dilated and that this could be fast. I told Todd it was time to call the doctor. He said...let’s time another. 2 mins. I called the On Call doctor since mine was on vacation. Todd timed the next one and asked me if the contraction had ever stopped. I said no.

When we called Laura back, Todd asked me if he wanted her to come to the house to labor for awhile. I thought...awhile???? I groaned from being uncomfortable and Laura said....it’s time for the hospital! This was the biggest challenge. I got up to put on clothes. But I needed to pause every 3 mins to contract. Todd told me to take one thing at a time. I would call out what I needed. Bra, underwear (no...not the thongs!), nutrition for the long labor I thought I would have, water, sneakers. When we got in to the car, I gripped the “Oh shit bar” and screamed out “Oh shit” with every bump we hit. We got to the hospital at 3:15 am and Laura greeted us at the car. She was instantly soothing. Todd pulled out the endless amount of luggage that I had. Every contraction required me to stop and rock back and forth while I leaned up against something. I felt the urgency to rush because I was nervous. Laura made me relax and breathe through each contraction and take my time. We had to walk through emergency where they wanted to put me in a wheel chair. I declined it because I would get an enormous amount of pressure when I sat. I remember a long hallway that we had to walk down to get to the elevators for L&D. It smelled like it was just scrubbed with every chemical under the sun. I joked about having to stop so often to work through a contraction in such a smelly place. Laura pointed out that at least it was clean!

Finally we were in labor and delivery. Fhewwww! They gave me a cup to pee in. The contractions wouldn’t allow me to pee. I just wanted to poop. I prayed out loud that I did not poop out the Mexican dinner anytime soon. It was a continuous nightmare for me to think that I could poop at anytime. I explained that urine was not happening for me. They were very nice about that. We met the nurse that was going to help with the delivery. Her name was Loraine. She explained that someone was going to check me. Since I wasn’t in terrible pain I figured that I was MAYBE 6 cm dilated and that it was going to be a long delivery. Everyone was in shock when they said I was fully dilated and ready to go. WHUTTTTT!!!! I then joked to everyone, “well I guess I can’t get an epidoral now.” Everyone just laughed. I was so relived that no one could even dangle the idea of having an epidoral now. And what the hell? It still didn’t hurt and we were ready to go.

Let me just say that I know that everyone’s deliveries are different. Everyone has different needs. I had know idea how labor would feel. I have always expected the absolute worst. It was severely uncomfortable for me but everything was happening so fast that I didn’t have time to think that I was in pain. I was mentally set to hold my baby. That is all I focused on. In my suitcase of tricks I had my massage oil that Todd and I use to relax me, a lavendar and chamomile packed sock to heat up or freeze, a wash cloth from home that had our fabric softener on it, candle lights, and out playlist of music on the iphone. We used NONE of these tools, except for the playlist. I have to say, the playlist that I had composed helped me zone out just like it did when I ran the marathon. I was slightly embarrassed when everyone in the room had to listen to Machine Head or Evergreen Terrace. But hey! It worked. It made us all laugh when people asked if this is what I really listen to.

Anyway, when I was checked, we were told that Madison was sunny side up. Not breech, just facing the wrong direction. I have read so many birth stories to know that this labor was not going to be easy. In fact I was mentally trying to tell myself that a section might be needed. This didn’t scare Laura or Loraine. Laura pulled out her bag of trick and told me to get on all fours. Our goal was to get the baby to turn. I was all for it. Let me tell you I will never be shy about anything again. There I was on the bed and on all fours in a hospital gown. My bare ass was in the air with Laura and Lorraine at the back squeezing my hips. I shouted out, “please remember that I had mexican and I am so sorry in advance!”. The discomfort really came in at this point. My back was so sore with each contraction. I felt like I was dead lifting 180 pounds. Laura put the birthing ball under my face so I wouldn't tire out my arms. AMAZING. Todd stood at the head holding my hands. I would squeeze his fingers as hard as I can with each contraction. He didn’t complain....too much. It was enough to make me laugh though. Squeezing his hands while the ladies squeezed my hips with force felt amazing. It was almost rhythmic. Laura also used this tennis ball like massager on my back and it felt great. Todd fed me ice chips and fanned me off while he encouraged me to work through it.

After a while Laura suggested we try squatting. I was too scared to move off the table thinking that nothing else could feel as good as the position I was already in. So I did. I used the bed for leverage and had one foot on a stool. Lorraine had to put tons of pee pads in between my feet because so much water was still flowing out. I couldn't help but to think how gross everything was. Yick. But who cares?? It felt awesome. It was at that point I felt the cramps from my back move to my abdomen. SHE TURNED! WE DID IT! GAME ON!!!! Lorraine actually had a lamp under me while I was squatting because the head was coming out.

They got me back on the table and contractions were like a perfectly timed song. And I could feel that my body would push this kid out without my help. I was in awe. And some pain. I had Todd skip songs and we all died laughing when Tenacious D’s The Metal came on. Even the on call doctor who was dryer than toast laughed. ok...scratch that...she smiled. Everyone started “getting ready”. Tools came out, scrubs went on and we were ready to go. The head was popping in and out and Lorraine asked if I wanted to touch it. I declined. She asked if I wanted a mirror. I said YEAH! She brought over this huge mirror and there it was....not the baby. A horrible site of unkempt hedges that I have been able to take care of since I was too big to get near that area. It was as far from a Brazilian wax as one could get. I told them to get rid of the mirror. Dear Lord!!!! I was so happy Todd was up at my head so he didn’t have to see such an ungodly sight. He’ll never want to go back again!

So pushing was a bit tough. I was scared to push too hard. I had to tell myself to trust my body. I could only imagine what kind of recovery I was going to have if I pushed too hard. After awhile, I dropped it. Who cares? It’s was coming out whether I could control the pushing or not. Pushing would only get her in to my arms faster. I held my knees to my chest with my elbows out. Laura and Lorraine supported each leg. The contractions were long and I had to hold a push for 10 long seconds, take a quick breath and repeat two times. The first two were always really strong and the third was just exhausting. Even if I didn’t want to push hard my body was doing it on it’s own. Todds part was crucial to my delivery. More so than he knew. Once in awhile Todd would say “Dina push” or “your almost there, push”. I knew he could see what was going on so when HE would say something he would mean it. I didn’t scream, I grunted through the tough parts. I refused an episiotomy from the beginning so the resident started the perineum massage with mineral oil. I couldn't even think of how uncomfortable that was but I knew we were even closer now. The actual doctors job was to put the towel on my chest for when Maddy comes out. I knew we were even closer at that point.

The hard part! The resident or someone warned me that the next few pushes are going to hurt but to just push. Oh God..the ring of fire was coming. Sure enough I pushed with a big groan and literally saw a red burst of light with stars in my mind. I had never felt pain like that in my life. But it was very short lived and I knew the head was out! Get the rest out...that’s all I thought. GET IT OUT. I was told to stop pushing but F that...really. Work faster is what I thought. At that point I was told to reach down and I knew what that meant. I grabbed Madison by the armpits and pulled her to my chest. It was like a flood just came out but I couldn't think of anything. My baby was finally in my arms and bursting with noise! The song that was on was the Weight by Thrice. There couldn't have been a better song.

I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was with all that vernix on her. Her coloring was perfect. It was over. I felt no pain at that point. Todd and I cried and couldn't have been happier. I started to nurse and she latched on right away. Now that was uncomfortable. It was like a vacuum! As I nursed, the doctor started to stitch me up. Wow...uncomfortable again. I was relieved though because I figured since she was stitching me up, the placenta must have come out already. Wrong! The placenta was stubborn. They put me on pitosin to get me contracting faster, but it wouldn't move. They started massaging my very sore belly while the doctor tried to tug. I was beside myself. I had to give the baby up because I couldn’t hold her anymore. It felt like forever to get that bag out. I watched Todd stand next to the nurse while she evaluated Madison. I wanted to cry in pain at that point. Finally it was all over and my baby was returned to me. Bundled up like a little burrito with a cap.

To me...my delivery was perfect. It went better than I had ever expected. It was an ultimate test of what my body was capable of and it worked perfectly. I am forever grateful to the wonderful support team that I had. Without them, I could have easily given up. They kept me mentally stable and calm through the entire birth. It was a wonderful experience with the most amazing prize in the end.

Thanks for reading my very long story. :)

She's here! (From a Daddy's point of view)

It has been a long 2 months with a few bumps but it's all over and she is here!  A bit more work for Dina then me, but here is my story anyway.

I wake up around 1:00am to the shout of "My Water Broke!"   Like an stubborn Lindner of course I say "are you sure?"  I mean, how could she not be sure of a gush of water coming out of her?  Next thought, towels.  We had the waterproof liner over the matress already, whew...  So I grab some towels and wrap up Dina's lower half and she waddles to the toilet to let it all continue.  She calls the Doula, Laura and I step out to start preparing the suitcase, etc.  Dina hangs up pretty quickly and says Laura wants us to time the contractions.  I never even thought of that.  It's amazing how 9 months of training can suddenly slip out of your head in a minute.  Granted it was 1 in the morning and I was still slightly out of it.  

Dina and I move back to the bed after I lay some more towels down and we turn on The Ultimate Fighter (DVR).  I start to time contractions.  3, 3, 6 (must have missed one), 3, 2, 2.  Dina says call Laura back.  I say "let's just time one more."  Now, the rule is 3-2-1.  3 minute contractions that are one minute long for 2 hours.  Now, Dina has been having contractions for the past 7 weeks, so I haven't really been timing all of them.  In hindsight, she had probably been at 3 minutes for a few hours before the water broke but just never bothered saying anything (she was asleep too).  oh, back to me stalling on calling Laura...  Dina wasn't so happy with that, but once again, I'm stubborn and she has learned to pick her fights.  1.5 minute, 1.5 minute, 1...  Wait, 1 minute?  Are you sure honey?  "YES!"  So the contractions are now on top of each other.  Ok, at this point my head is less foggy and uhm, it's time to call Laura.

I call Laura this time because (in hindsight) Dina is in transition at this point.  This is the point where contractions basically never stop and overlap each other.  It is generally the most difficult point for women to get through in childbirth, and the point where most women lose their mind.  I had assumed we would be in a L&D room at the hospital at this point and I would be working lots of scented oils and massage magic while Dina shouts "YOU DID THIS TO ME" and simultaneously biting my arm.  I would be reassuring her that she is in transition and the goal is just around the corner.  Pushing starts very shortly after transition and normally doesn't take much time at all.  But I digress, this was all in my mind leading up to this day.  In actuality Dina is sitting next to me calm and collected with half a groan every 30 seconds having overlapping contractions.  I am on the phone with Laura and tell her the timings.  3, 3, 6, 3, 2, 2, 1.5, 1.5, 1 uhhh I try to explain it became hard to time them.  She asks me "what do you want to do Todd?"  WHAT?  I have to decide?  now I start getting nervous.  I give a typical dumb man's response of uhh uhh and between the Home Improvement re-enactment Laura hears Dina let out on of her own, much more intelligent and calm sounding, grunts (from the height of a contraction).  Laura immediately says "I'm meeting you in the hospital.  There is no time to labor at your house"   Now, when I heard this all of I sudden I realized this is serious.  We took Laura's class for 2 months so I understood her a bit, as we sat down a few weeks earlier and hired her as a Doula she reminded us that if labor is starting in the middle of the night it is best for everyone to try and finish a good nights sleep an not waste time in the hospital.  She (and everyone) prefers to arrive in the hospital at 6 cm.  I tell her it will probably take us an hour to get to the hospital (it is 20 minutes away, but we are not as prepared as we should be).

Dina works her way back to the toilet because she is still leaking quite a bit.  I start to pack the last minute things while getting Dina some clothes to wear.  That takes a bit because she can only talk for 30-60 second bursts between the contractions.  Dina begins complaining of pressure down in her bottom now.  Of course I just push that tidbit aside, but looking back she had completed transition and was now pushing (involuntarily).  I take a 3 minute shower and brush my teeth.  So does Dina and I remind her to take the automatic toothbrush out of her mouth during contractions.  I load the suitcase, diaper bag (after Dina packed the "take home outfit in it"), and Stem Cell donation kit in the car and pull out.  It's been about an hour since we told Laura we were leaving.  Between the slow packing and feeding the cats, etc it just took a while.

As we are driving the phone rings and I answer on the handsfree.  It is Laura asking if we are already in. I tell her we are driving and Dina lets out a grunt of a hello.  I buzz my Dad to let him know we are headed to the hospital.  Dina had already called the mothers and they were already enroute.  They actually showed up at the hospital about the same time we did (they stayed in the waiting room until after the birth).  We arrive at the hospital and Laura is very calming and supportive for Dina, which is good because my way of being soothing and supportive is to not say a word.  We have to pull into the ER because the main entrance is closed (it is 3:15am).  Dina refuses the wheelchair.  Sitting was nearly impossible for her, probably because the head was right there (or +2, whatever that means).

We slowly walk up to L&D while Dina stops every 2 minutes for a contraction and toe standing (I later learned this means she is fully dialated and pushing).  We are well acquainted with L&D after the pre-term labor at 32 weeks so I walk right to the desk with Dina's insurance card and ID and the first thing Dina says is "can we have a nice room?"  Later I learned all the nurses sighed right then because they figure she is only 2cm dialated and we are going to clog a room for 16+ hours on the day after a full moon (they were full BTW).  

We get in the room and our excellent nurse Lorainne examines Dina and says in shock she is fully dialated +2 and she can see the head.  WOW.  Good job baby!  I think we high fived.  Bad news is they can tell that the baby is sunny side up and it would be best to flip her over.  We knew this from the ultrasound a few days before also.  So Dina gets up on all fours and goes through some contractions with a little rocking.  I get the music going and we turn off the lights and it's just me, Dina, Lorainne and Laure.  They laughed a few times because of the music selection.  Whats wrong with Avenged Sevenfold, Evergreen Terrace, U2, and Between the Buried and Me?  Dina and I were talking to each other between the contractions, singing along, and making jokes.  Lorainne and Laura are beside themselves we are so calm.  It's in my blood I think...

After about 45 minutes little Madison hasn't turned over yet.  Laura has an idea to do some squats with one foot elevated.  She asks and Dina is not excited about moving but agrees.  She actually liked the squats, except for the fluid falling out.  Ewww.  We put a bunch of pads on the floor and I wipe down her leg a bit.  Dina was very thankful, I knew she wouldn't want to be standing there with amniotic fluid on her leg.

She moves from one leg up to the other, all while we have a spotlight on because the head is starting to crown and Lorainne doesn't want the baby to fall out.  Wouldn't that be horrible?  HA.  I can catch.

My job at this point is fanning Dina during contractions and letting her squeeze the heck out of my hands.  I should have taken off my ring because at one point I thought my adjacent fingers were going to snap.

Dina gets back up on the bed on all fours and Laura starts to open her hips with pressure on the outside of them squeezing in with her arms.  I have tried this move myself a few months ago and it really takes a lot of upper body strength.  We all know I don't have any of that, and Laura is petite.   Lorainne (who is training to be a Doula) says they should each get one hand of each hip and hold each others arms and pull towards each other.  Essentially doubling the pressure they can apply.  Laura says its much easier and Dina is loving the relief.  Then Dina yells WHOA I felt something.  A quick check and Madison has flipped over!  Good girl.  She was already in the birth canal so that much have been quite a trick.  

The resident comes in now and Dina moves to the traditional back position while holding her own legs with elbows up.  Now she starts pushing.  This we remember from class.  Lorainne is counting and Dina is pushing on queue.  It's a real workout.  I am standing to Dina's right side and even from her side I can see the head moving out with each push.  They use Mineral Oil and do the Perineal massage to reduce the risk of a bad tear.  For the 10 seconds of a push she moves out and then right back in.  Dina had a hard time getting a full push on the third 10 seconds of the contraction.  But it was fine.  Slowly and surely Madison crept forward.  It was probably good that Dina took a while with the pushing because it minimized the amount of tearing.

Now they take the bottom of the bed off and call in the Doctor.  The head is probably a good 2cm visible and moving down with each contraction.  I know its almost done so on the next contraction I speak up for the first time the whole night probably.  "Deep breath, push push push baby!"  "Come on, one more"  (after the third)  "It's almost there!"  I convince Dina to give 5 pushes on one contraction (2 more than usual) and that was it.  The head was out.  That was the only time she got loud, and let out an "Oh my god!"  and started quivering.  I knew it was because the pain skyrocketed past the point of comprehension.  Dina says she saw stars.  That's a pretty good safety mechanism.  The doctor tells Dina to give her her hands and Dina grabs Madison by the armpits and pulls her our and onto her chest.  The nurses frantically start yelling "skin-to-skin!" and unbutton Dina completely.  Madison lays down on her chest with eyes wide open looking at the two of us (I have a picture) and we are crying our eyes out in happiness.  About 3 seconds later they ask if I want to cut the cord.  Uhm no thank you, I'm a bit mentally overloaded right now.  10 seconds later they call out of confirm the time.  6:32 am.  The doctor had entered the room around 6:27 am.

Madison lets out her first cry and then latches on immediately (like a champ).  All 3 of us get bracelets with unique numbers on them and Madison gets a lo-jack attached to her umbilical cord end.  She is covered in Vernix and absorbing it quickly.  After about 45 minutes they take me and Madison over to a heater on the other side of the room for someone from the NICU to do her first doctors visit and measurements, etc. 8lb 6oz, 20.5".  She gets a clean bill of health (8/9 apgar, didn't cry immediately) and back to mommy.  Dina had been stitched up, took an ibuprofen, and given Pitocin to get the placenta out.  It took a good 30 minutes.  In the end the Doctor had to go in hands first and grab.  The cord, cord blood and placenta were boxed and donated for research and/or people who need it.

All in all a magical experience I would recommend to anyone.  My life has changed for the better.  We are a family now.  My wife is truly amazing and I love her.  Madison is perfect.

-Todd

People want to know if I have had the baby yet...

Here is the answer to that question:
http://www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/

Shopping with Mom!

Today my mommy came to NJ to spend some time with me. Yay! I took her to a great nearby town for some shopping. It was a beautiful day here and since Westfield is more like an outdoor mall, I thought it would be perfect to shop there. We bought Madison her Thanksgiving outfit and matching bib at The Children's Place. See? This baby has to come soon or we are going to go broke buying clothes. And when I mean "me", I mean me and my mom.

Our last store before lunch was Williams-Sonoma. While we walked around, we noticed some of the workers cleaning the floor. One worker yelled to the other "Is there a kid or a dog in here?". When I looked down, I saw some unknown fluid. I instantly got red in the face and all nervous that my water just broke in a public place. In this split second, I got all excited too. My mother was looking at me up and down and I discreetly rubbed my legs together. That doesn't take too much effort since my chubbo thighs rub all of the time! My mom gave me a look. I told her I felt nothing. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. My mom was just disappointed as she was all pumped to take me to the hospital. Oh well. haha.

Anyway, we had a great lunch and quality time together. The next time should include a baby though. :)

What I will and will not miss about being pregnant.

What I WILL miss:

-LO moving and hiccuping.

-An easy out when I don't feel like doing something.

-Eating fun foods that I would never eat.

-Spending quality time alone with DH

What I WONT miss:

-Needing a crane to get me in and out of bed.

-The thousands of pillows in the bed that really don't make me feel any more comfortable.

-Eating fun foods that I would never eat! (I am pretty sick of eating!)

-Walking slower than old people with canes.

-Waiting for her arrival.

Cream Cheese Cookies!

Waiting + Nesting = Baking. I haven't baked or really even cooked anything from scratch until now. Todd's grandmother used to make cream cheese cookies and I thought I would give them a shot. I googled the recipe and found this one. I fussed with a cookie press that I have had for over 10 years and never used. I have to say....they came out pretty good. You can find the recipe here. Nom Nom Nom!

Shopping!

Waiting for the baby to come is tough on my wallet! All I want to do is shop for the baby. I have to stop. I am completely in love with this outfit but can't bare to spend another penny on clothes. I saw this outfit in the store and it was hard not to buy it then. I just checked the website and it's on sale! OHHHH MAN! You can check it out here if you want to see it larger. Hurry Maddy, Mommy and Daddy are going to go broke until you arrive!

Survey Fun!

•How far along?: 36 Weeks.

•Current Weight: 174 lbs.

•Total weight gain: 36 lbs.

•How big is baby?: Last time she was checked was on 8/6 at 5lb.6oz

•Maternity clothes?: PJ's! Everything else is uncomfortable.

•Movement: Lots of movement with tons of kicks. The poor thing gets the hiccups 3 times a day.

•Stretch marks?: Not yet.... :x

•Sleep?: I have great nights of sleep and terrible nights of sleep. My hips and back hurt sooo much.

•Symptoms?: Some painful and irregular contractions. Lots of cramps and exhaustion. Oh and I am starving ALL THE TIME!

•Food aversions?: Pork and anything smoked.

•Food cravings?: Frozen yogurt, Lucky Charms, half and half in my iced coffee.

•Labor signs?: Cramps, Braxton Hicks, 4+cm dilated, 90% effaced

•Belly button in or out?: I have no idea what it is...part in and part out.

•What I miss: Sleeping on my back is the biggest thing I miss. I miss running, sushi, and adult beverages!

•What I'm looking forward to: Holding my baby girl.

•Best Moment this week: Folding the rest of the baby clothes.

•Milestone: Made it this far!

Third Trimester!

One of the girls on my message boards posted this and it's so very true! I can't stop laughing.

You know you are in your 3rd trimester when:
1. You used to think DH took a while to "read the paper" in the bathroom... now you could finish a whole novel waiting for something to happen in there.

2. Putting your pants on in the morning no longer consists of a simple knee up, but rather, some sort of ballet like moves and bends to get your leg in there.

3. Your daily errands are scheduled around where you can take bathroom breaks.

4. Your dreams are starting to resemble something out of a stephen king movie... meets charlie and the chocolate factory.

5. $1 cone night at baskin robbins has you more excited than a virgin on prom night.

6. Picking things up with your feet is your new go to move.

7. The best sex you've ever had was....... wait a minute... sex......... what's that???

8. No matter when or what you eat, you feel like your roasting a pig over an open flame in your esophagus.

9. You're breathing like a contestant on The Biggest Loser.... but all you're doing is sitting on the couch.

10. DH has got his sweatshirt on and his nose running, while you're running around the house screaming "did you turn down the f---ing AC again?!"

11. Your neighbor says"good morning" and you think "the nerve of that b*tch..."

12. It takes a crew of 7 men and a crane to help you turn over to your other side when you're trying to sleep at night.

13. You absolutely CANNOT forget to do ___________ today.... Wait, what was I jsut saying? Ah well nevermind.

14. You fantasize about skinny jeans and high heels.

15. The people at (insert delicious eatery here) know you by name and have your order waiting for your arrival.

and......

16. You can hardly contain yourself through these last crazy weeks because.... your LO is almost here!!!!!!!!!!

LINDNER LOGS LAUNCHED

Well, here it is.  Initially conceived as the "baby blog," the Lindner logs are finally up with only 34 days left until the due date...  but we all know that date was merely a suggestion and little Madison is itchin' to get out!

35 / 35 !!!

Today is my 35 weeks pregnant / 35 days until delivery and we are so happy to have made it this far. We plan to celebrate it with Todd's birthday tonight at hibachi with some close friends. So, I dressed up and applied some make up! Wow it feels great!

The Take Home Outfit!

Finally!!! With the help of my mom, I have found the perfect take home outfit for Maddy. I didn’t want anything too pink. Actually, I wanted to avoid pink as much as possible.

Mom came out with food and snacks again this week. However, I had to beg her to take me out. I desperately needed to get out even if it was only for a little while. I made a list of everything we needed. The list was: newborn diapers, baby detergent, take home outfit, and prenatal vitamins. Mom was not happy with this idea of me leaving the house and told me I better ask Todd if I can go. Mom....what???

Off to Babies R Us! We got the detergent, the diapers, and an ok “back up plan” for a take home outfit. I just couldn’t find the “Ideal” outfit. I had to beg mom to take me to Janie and Jack which is right next to my pharmacy. Once we got there, we picked out a bunch of outfits before seeing this gorgeous black and white outfit. The search was over! We brought it home, washed it and packed it up in the diaper bag. Yay!

Another Trip to the Hospital...For Todd!

One week and one day later, the Lindner's ended up in the hospital. This time for Todd. Early this morning, Todd was running around cleaning up the house. He threw out the garbage through the garage and as he was running in, he slammed the metal door on his foot. We both almost fainted from the skin that was hanging off.

We went back to overlook hospital where they gave him 9 stitches and a tetanus shot. The two of us are now on bed rest together. Yikes.

What does bed rest look like?

Bed rest has been very interesting to the say the least. I am waited on hand and foot, smothered by the cats, and catching up on very trashy t.v. The baby is still baking and healthy. Who can complain? I am just enjoying the relaxation and quiet time before our lives change forever.

From bed, I have ordered curtains for the nursery, a crib side table, groceries, a pack and play and anniversary gifts. I have written out all of my thank you’s from the baby shower, set up our cord blood donation and set up this blog. It’s amazing what one can accomplish from bed. Thank goodness for the Internet!

I am in Labor? What?????

Let me start off by saying that I have always felt this kid would be early. Maybe 2 weeks early, but not this early. I noticed some differences in myself that I really didn’t think too much of. One thing was I started nesting early last week. Todd was pretty shocked that it must really exist if I was cleaning that much. Another thing was that I started to really feel my commute. I told work that the commute was too rough and that I needed to work from home full time. My job has been extremely supportive. So, I started wfh last Monday. It was great.

On Friday morning I woke up with a little crampage. I waved it off as my stomach stretching. I also figured that the increased "stuff" in my underwear was just the normal thing for a 3rd trimester symptom. I have been working on comps for work and they were due at the end of the day. As I worked, my cramps increased a little and started to move to my back and down my legs. Around 2pm I thought, let me call my doctor so I don't have to talk to an on call doctor over the weekend. I put the call in and they said "go to labor and delivery to get checked out". I argued with them because I had work to do and I would rather get checked out by the doctor. They only laughed at me and told me to get moving.

I decided a shower would help. I took a hot shower to see if these mild cramps would go away. Nothing. ok ok ok...I'll go. I sat down and sent work implicit instructions about what I have done so far, why I cant finish, and how they can continue on. I also gave a full run down of all my projects just in case because I was starting to get a bad feeling. I called my mom and Todd's mom just to let them know that I was going. I wrote to Todd saying that I was just going for a check up. I didn't want to alarm anyone but I wanted them to know where I was going. I got in the car and drove myself to the hospital.

When I got to L&D, I gave them my half filled out preregistration forms. I have nothing really ready for a baby, mind you. No I don't have a pediatrician yet. No I did not write out my living will yet. Fine...hook me up to the contraction machine but I am telling you my stomach is just stretching. The nurse looked at me and said "So who is your doctor"? I asked what the problem was and she said that I was having contractions every 5 mins. I was not feeling contractions, just cramps. What the hell?

And the rush started. I called Todd and said "maybe you should leave now and come here". They weren’t telling me what was going on but I knew it wasn’t just my stomach stretching. An on call doctor came in quickly and did an internal. Her face dropped when she found me at 2cm and 60% effaced. She told me I was in labor. So, I called Todd again...frantically...."you better fucking hurry up". Instantly, they started drawing blood and inserting an IV in to my left wrist while an ultra sound team took measurements of my baby. I was in mild pain from the needle in my wrist while the doctor made a huge fuss out of how big my kid is. I mean she was so obnoxious about it that I just wanted to punch her in the face. Madison is a whopping 5.6 pounds at 33 weeks. The doctor was bracing me for a delivery but was going on and on about her weight. I figured it was a good size if she had to be delivered so early. Ugh... She suggested that I get started on a magnesium drip to stop the contractions so they can give me steroids. The steroids needed only 48 hours to help advance the baby’s lungs. The doctor also mentioned that a premature baby has a risk of cerebral palsy. I swear, every minute with out Todd was the longest minute ever. I called him again, this time in tears to find out he was just walking in at that moment. The doctors started asking me about how I would want to deliver if it was to happen soon. Todd and I have done all of this prep work for a natural birth. They asked me if I would want an epidural. I was like... seriously, I want every drug you have right now to calm me down. I was in no mental state to deliver at that moment. I had no washing machine, I haven't written out my thank yous, I didn't even pack a bag, I have no premature outfits! WTF!!!!!

Todd came in and it was an instant calm. I love that he has that effect on me. They moved me in to a delivery room where I stayed for 3 days. My on call doctor came in 2 hours later (because my doctor was on vacation) and she did an internal. My contractions were now 3 mins apart. I guess from all of the stress. She had this look of death on her face and said....ok.... our goal is to wait for the steroids to kick in. Our goal is to wait until Sunday. I asked what the problem was and she told me I was 4 cm and 90% effaced. The doctor ordered to put a catheter in me and drew the line there. NO WAY! We compromised with a bed pan. UGH. Wretched! She asked the NICU to come in and explain to us what they do with premature deliveries. I felt much better after they briefed Todd and I for an early delivery. They even gave Todd a tour of the NICU and he took some pictures for me. I was ready to let go and let this kid come out.

I was warned that the magnesium would make me very sick. Flu like symptoms. Bring it on. Lets keep this baby in is all I thought. It was about midnight when I told Todd to go home and start attending to the massive list I had for him. Pack the bag, get the car seat in, let the guys in to hook up the new washer and dryer, pay the people who are staining the deck. I couldn't believe how much stuff needed to get done. He did it all and came back the next day with a packed bag, a packed cooler, and the laptop. I am so lucky to have someone as wonderful as him. Finally I prepared myself. We are leaving the hospital with a baby and it's going to be soooo ok.


I made it to sunday and they stopped the magnesium. I was able to go pee pee on the potty! YAY. Sunday was fun. Mom, Len and Gail came to visit. Mom always visits with treats and they were yummy! Of course I was uncomfortable since I had compression pads around my legs that would blow up every 5 minutes. I had a blood pressure cuff on my right arm that would go off every 15 minutes. I had a hep lock and IV in my left wrist. And I also had two monitors strapped around my belly. I wasn’t exactly looking glamorous for my guests. I was lucky enough to have had a sponge bath that morning. After everyone left, my contractions instantly kicked up fast and furious. They did an internal and there was no increase in dilation. The on call doctor suggested I start a new medication to keep the contractions down since I instantly started contracting. I didn't feel good with that. But Todd and I thought maybe it was for the best. Finally my doctor came at night. He explained to me that my body is going to do what it wants and if it is time to give birth, he would rather my body be strong for it. No more medication. Todd and I were thrilled and agreed instantly.

I was given an allergy pill that night to help subside some chest pains I was having. That night, Todd and I had quiet time, so we turned the lights out, set up the lap top, and watched some UFC fights. Todd and I shared the bed and it was actually as fun as it could be. The nurses and doctors were impressed with our amazing set up!


On Monday I was allowed to shower. Yay! Later that day my doctor gave me the choice of staying in the hospital or going home to strict bed rest. I chose to go home. Todd prepared the house with a water proof mattress, clean linens and nice bed table for my lap top. So here we are....wondering when and if she will come.

Baby Shower Day....YAY!

What an amazing and overwhelming day. The mom's really out did themselves on this lavish party. The set up was beautiful and the food was amazing. It was so nice to have close friends and family to share this special day with me. It meant so much to me that my sister and her family drove all the away up from Florida to baby shower it up with me. It wouldn't have been the same with out her.



Todd's God mother, Aunt Renate, even came down from Mass.

There were so many gifts for the baby that I was actually exhausted beyond belief by opening all of them. Who knew that could happen? We got everything we needed for Maddy and more! This girl has a bigger wardrobe than mommy and daddy put together, and she isn't even born yet!


Thank you again to everyone who came. You can check out all of the pictures here. Once again, all of these photos were taken by Nikole De Luca! Thanks Lady!

Our Maternity Photos

At the very last minute, I decided that I wanted some nice shots of Todd, Belly and I. I called up a very old friend of mine Nikole and asked if she could help. I was so lucky that she was available with only a days notice. Nikole shot these pictures before my baby shower at Verdi's, Long Island. Todd and I were so excited that she was able to capture exactly what we wanted. It was extra special that Nikole was a part of this special time in our lives as well as a very special day.

Thanks so much Nikole!

If you are interested in some photography please contact Nikole De Luca.

Snowbird UT

We landed!!! Snowbird Utah! Home sweet timeshare! Even though I wont be snowboarding this year, I will be taking advantage of all the spa treatments and yoga classes. Brian and Ken have been to the Bird before, but it was John's first time.


These are great spring conditions! It's actually 65 degrees!

Baby Bump Meets Dana White!

This was an AMAZING work day. Why? Because I met MY MAN, Dana White! I was working one day and my boss alerted me that my hero was eating at La Cocina downstairs. For all of you who do not know, Dana White is the president of UFC and for some reason I have this HUGE crush on him.

I went down to talk to him but I just couldn't do it. I got so shy and ran up stairs with a hot flash. Finally I realized I was being ridiculous. I forced my coworkers to go downstairs to smoke so I could go with them. We saw Dana's body guards and TMZ waiting for him to finish lunch in the restaurant. So we waited....

My coworker, Andy, asked the body guard if he could get a picture of me and Dana together. He told us that Dana LOVES to take pictures with fans....ladies (even if they are preggo)! When Dana came out, I got all excited and nervous again. He came over to me to shake my hand and take a picture. He asked me if I "lived here". I thought: Does he mean in this building? This neighborhood? This city? Who cares? I said YES!

When we took this picture, we had funny faces because on the count of three I said "Omg! Dana White is touching me!!!"

Telling the Family

Today was Pop Pop's 80th birthday and I couldn't think of a better time to share the news of our pregnancy with the family. Todd and I thought it would be a GREAT idea to surprise everyone with the news and capture the moment in a picture. We decided to get all the women of the family around Pop. Todd's job was to take the picture and instead of "say cheese" he would say "say Dina is pregnant" and take the picture.

I told mom about this plan and she thought it would be a great idea. When Todd and I arrived, you could tell how stressed mom looked. I could tell she was dying to tell someone. She kept asking "when are you going to do it!!!!". I started to get a little hot flash and nervous about the picture for some reason. When I told her when it was a good time to do it, she nearly picked Nanny up over her shoulder to get her in to the kitchen for the picture. So here we go.....

As you can see...it hasn't really registered yet. Aunt Doreen got it! Nicole did too..I think. Here is the second picture taken right after. I think they got it now!

We are so excited that we were able to surprise everyone on such a special day. Happy Birthday Pop. Great grandchild number one million...coming right up!

BFP!!! Kind of?

That stands for Big Fat Positive on TTC (Trying To Conceive) message boards on thebump.com. This month I tried hard not to take a million pregnancy tests. I didn’t want to get all excited to get let down like the past 2 months. I started to get obsessed about taking a test after a two week wait at the end of each month. I got to the point where when I was out of tests in the morning, I would run to CVS while holding on to my first morning’s urine. Awesome, right?

I was pretty convinced that it wasn’t going to happen for us this month since I felt like my period was starting. After a rough day at work, Nicole, Jacqui, and I walked over to spring street Natural for a glass of wine. We were in full jibba jabba mode when our wine arrived. The first sip tasted like swill. Metal swill! I took a few more sips and it was just not happening. I asked for a different glass. As we were talking, I started sweating. A full flush! When I got my new glass of wine, it tasted the same. Terrible. I started to sweat more when Jacqui asked what was going on. Her exact words were “you didn’t even sweat during the marathon”. It clicked! Jacqui was right. I threw some money down, kissed the girls and jumped on the next 6 train.

When Todd picked me up at the station I had to beg him to take me to CVS. He knew exactly why I wanted to go. He told me I was wasting my money and if I was pregnant, I would know. I promised him I would buy the cheap ones. I got CVS brand 3 for $14. What a bargain!!! When we got home, I rushed in to the bathroom and pulled out a test. He wondered if the test would work with wine on my breath. Har har har. I refused to look at the test until the 3 minutes were up. When I looked, there was something. Not a line.....just something. The box said, if there is anything it’s positive. But it was soooo hard to see. I ran out in to the hallway with the stick to find Todd.

Here is the conversation:
Dina: Omg.....We are pregnant. Look at this...does this mean we are pregnant?
(Frantically waving the stick in Todd’s face)
Todd: Does that have urine on it?
Dina: Yes! But it’s covered. Can you look at this????
(We walked in to the bathroom together with the stick on the counter).
Todd: It looks like something....Congratulations.
Dina: That’s it? It’s really blurry, I bet if I bought an expensive test, it would be more clear!!!
(Todd grabbed the directions and sat on the toilette.)
Todd: Yeah, it says if there is anything then you are pregnant!
Todd: Congratulations! (with a kiss) Can we eat dinner now? I’m starving!
Dina: You can eat?!?!?! Give me the phone!

I called my mom instantly. What perfect timing too since she was in Florida with my sister. I couldn’t wait to tell the entire world. But what if this stupid cheapo test was wrong? Telling the parents cant hurt, I thought. Everyone was excited. I was beaming! I figured if I took a test in the morning with more hormone filled urine, I would get a better and stronger positive.

At 2 am my eye’s opened up. I couldn't wait anymore. So, I took another test. Here is the picture. The line looks more prominent than the last...but you are probably asking yourself “what line?”


ok...so I took the last test at 7am. I just needed to sure. However, this time my period came. I called the doctor right away for a blood test.