6 months!

Whoa almost 6 months and we haven't posted here.  Well, since the last post (when Miss Madison was only 6 days old) a lot has changed!  (with Madison, as well and Dina and myself).  Every day we learn more about being parents, and every day Madison learns about being a beautiful little baby.  She is 6 months old, yet over 20 pounds and wearing 12 month clothes, so we are also learning the cashiers at the clothing stores too.

Madison smiles at every person she sees, and she has her favorite toys and will stretch and grab what she wants.  She is rolling back and forth on the floor so now Dina and I need to watch more closely.  Pretty soon (very soon) the house needs baby proofing.  We have started her on solid foods and Dina makes everything herself.

Madison is sleeping in her crib now.  At first this was obviously a difficult switchover from the bed, but after a few days she settled right into it..  and started sleeping much more!  Right up until the 6 month growth spurt.  Now more often than not Dina moves her back into the bed at some point during the night because having to get out of bed every hour or two can be rather draining.  Hopefully this one will be over soon and we can get back to normal.

Madison was Baptised on Sunday.  I need to post a picture on this blog.  She looked so beautiful in her dress (as one might expect).  She was all smiles and quiet during the service and the entire congregation was able to say hello (and its a big congregation).  Even during the ceremony she was nothing but smiles.  The afterparty at the house was another huge one.  I'm thinking around 50 people were here.  Fully catered so it was a very easy one to host (this time around).  Madison was passed around all day and never cried.  I think the first peep was around 6pm when she started getting tired.  Such a great day...

My sister in law, brother in law, all of the boys (and the dog) were in the house all week.  It added a small (but welcome) bit of chaos to a normally quiet household.  Everyone was great.  The boys loved playing outside and cleaning up mother nature's wrath from the big storms we had recently, and of course they loved the PS3 as well.  Dina and I worked hard to get the family room re-painted and even had a late night during the week before they came to assemble a new corner unit to replace yet another piece of apartment furniture in the house.  The room really came out great and I look forward to many days and nights of making a lot of noise and not bothering anyone in the house.

She's here!!!

Madison Kelly Lindner is finally here!

This birth story is a long one but I want moms that are considering a natural birth to know that it's not that bad. I think having anxiety about giving birth is normal but after reading so many scary stories, I wanted to post a real positive and exciting tale that will hopefully ease some minds.

For those of you who don't know, I went in to preterm labor at 32 weeks. You can read all about that here. I was on bed rest for 6 weeks thinking this baby was going to come everyday. It was tough thinking that each day she should come and it was even worse having everyone ask if she was coming soon. By 39 weeks I was physically and emotionally tired. I just wanted the baby here so bad. The back and hip pains mixed with irregular contractions started to mentally pull me apart. I often wondered if I was really going to be strong enough for a natural labor that Todd and I have hopped and studied for for the last nine months.

On September 22, 2010 I was 39 weeks and 2 days. I was excited all day because it was going to be a full harvest moon that night. I figured if I mixed every house wife tale together, labor would HAVE to start. I ate eggplant the night before. I walked 4 miles everyday in the park to keep a routine, but on this day I walked with one foot on the pavement and one on the curb. For dinner, all I wanted was some Mexican food so Todd and I went to Tinga. It was 2 entrees, 2 appetizers, for $20. You can't beat that.

We had a massive thunderstorm around 8pm and it continued on until 10pm, when we went to bed. I went to bed thinking that this could really be the night. At 12:40 I woke up to go to the bathroom and was so disappointed to see that my water had not broken yet. Of course, I thought I would SEE it and not FEEL it. I have always in visioned how we would start laboring. It was more like when Lucy told Ricky “it was time”. Nice and calm. At 1:48 am I was laying on my left side and so was Todd, right behind me. The sudden burst of the dam was so projectile and so alarming that I, uncontrollably screamed out..”MY WATER BROKE”. It was more of a “Todd watch out”! Todd’s reaction was “Are you sure? OH MY GOD!”

Todd ran and got me towels so I could move to the bathroom. I sat on the toilette and called my doula. When I called her, she asked if my contractions had started. I said no, I just had massive pressure in the rear. Laura told me to go back to bed and rest up. HA. Yeah right. I got back in to bed and the contractions started quick. Todd started to time them. I called mom to tell her that the baby was coming and she should start driving. These contractions were strong but not painful per say. I just couldn't move when they were happening. Todd called out 3 mins. We timed another one. 3 mins. I started to get nervous because I knew I was so dilated and that this could be fast. I told Todd it was time to call the doctor. He said...let’s time another. 2 mins. I called the On Call doctor since mine was on vacation. Todd timed the next one and asked me if the contraction had ever stopped. I said no.

When we called Laura back, Todd asked me if he wanted her to come to the house to labor for awhile. I thought...awhile???? I groaned from being uncomfortable and Laura said....it’s time for the hospital! This was the biggest challenge. I got up to put on clothes. But I needed to pause every 3 mins to contract. Todd told me to take one thing at a time. I would call out what I needed. Bra, underwear (no...not the thongs!), nutrition for the long labor I thought I would have, water, sneakers. When we got in to the car, I gripped the “Oh shit bar” and screamed out “Oh shit” with every bump we hit. We got to the hospital at 3:15 am and Laura greeted us at the car. She was instantly soothing. Todd pulled out the endless amount of luggage that I had. Every contraction required me to stop and rock back and forth while I leaned up against something. I felt the urgency to rush because I was nervous. Laura made me relax and breathe through each contraction and take my time. We had to walk through emergency where they wanted to put me in a wheel chair. I declined it because I would get an enormous amount of pressure when I sat. I remember a long hallway that we had to walk down to get to the elevators for L&D. It smelled like it was just scrubbed with every chemical under the sun. I joked about having to stop so often to work through a contraction in such a smelly place. Laura pointed out that at least it was clean!

Finally we were in labor and delivery. Fhewwww! They gave me a cup to pee in. The contractions wouldn’t allow me to pee. I just wanted to poop. I prayed out loud that I did not poop out the Mexican dinner anytime soon. It was a continuous nightmare for me to think that I could poop at anytime. I explained that urine was not happening for me. They were very nice about that. We met the nurse that was going to help with the delivery. Her name was Loraine. She explained that someone was going to check me. Since I wasn’t in terrible pain I figured that I was MAYBE 6 cm dilated and that it was going to be a long delivery. Everyone was in shock when they said I was fully dilated and ready to go. WHUTTTTT!!!! I then joked to everyone, “well I guess I can’t get an epidoral now.” Everyone just laughed. I was so relived that no one could even dangle the idea of having an epidoral now. And what the hell? It still didn’t hurt and we were ready to go.

Let me just say that I know that everyone’s deliveries are different. Everyone has different needs. I had know idea how labor would feel. I have always expected the absolute worst. It was severely uncomfortable for me but everything was happening so fast that I didn’t have time to think that I was in pain. I was mentally set to hold my baby. That is all I focused on. In my suitcase of tricks I had my massage oil that Todd and I use to relax me, a lavendar and chamomile packed sock to heat up or freeze, a wash cloth from home that had our fabric softener on it, candle lights, and out playlist of music on the iphone. We used NONE of these tools, except for the playlist. I have to say, the playlist that I had composed helped me zone out just like it did when I ran the marathon. I was slightly embarrassed when everyone in the room had to listen to Machine Head or Evergreen Terrace. But hey! It worked. It made us all laugh when people asked if this is what I really listen to.

Anyway, when I was checked, we were told that Madison was sunny side up. Not breech, just facing the wrong direction. I have read so many birth stories to know that this labor was not going to be easy. In fact I was mentally trying to tell myself that a section might be needed. This didn’t scare Laura or Loraine. Laura pulled out her bag of trick and told me to get on all fours. Our goal was to get the baby to turn. I was all for it. Let me tell you I will never be shy about anything again. There I was on the bed and on all fours in a hospital gown. My bare ass was in the air with Laura and Lorraine at the back squeezing my hips. I shouted out, “please remember that I had mexican and I am so sorry in advance!”. The discomfort really came in at this point. My back was so sore with each contraction. I felt like I was dead lifting 180 pounds. Laura put the birthing ball under my face so I wouldn't tire out my arms. AMAZING. Todd stood at the head holding my hands. I would squeeze his fingers as hard as I can with each contraction. He didn’t complain....too much. It was enough to make me laugh though. Squeezing his hands while the ladies squeezed my hips with force felt amazing. It was almost rhythmic. Laura also used this tennis ball like massager on my back and it felt great. Todd fed me ice chips and fanned me off while he encouraged me to work through it.

After a while Laura suggested we try squatting. I was too scared to move off the table thinking that nothing else could feel as good as the position I was already in. So I did. I used the bed for leverage and had one foot on a stool. Lorraine had to put tons of pee pads in between my feet because so much water was still flowing out. I couldn't help but to think how gross everything was. Yick. But who cares?? It felt awesome. It was at that point I felt the cramps from my back move to my abdomen. SHE TURNED! WE DID IT! GAME ON!!!! Lorraine actually had a lamp under me while I was squatting because the head was coming out.

They got me back on the table and contractions were like a perfectly timed song. And I could feel that my body would push this kid out without my help. I was in awe. And some pain. I had Todd skip songs and we all died laughing when Tenacious D’s The Metal came on. Even the on call doctor who was dryer than toast laughed. ok...scratch that...she smiled. Everyone started “getting ready”. Tools came out, scrubs went on and we were ready to go. The head was popping in and out and Lorraine asked if I wanted to touch it. I declined. She asked if I wanted a mirror. I said YEAH! She brought over this huge mirror and there it was....not the baby. A horrible site of unkempt hedges that I have been able to take care of since I was too big to get near that area. It was as far from a Brazilian wax as one could get. I told them to get rid of the mirror. Dear Lord!!!! I was so happy Todd was up at my head so he didn’t have to see such an ungodly sight. He’ll never want to go back again!

So pushing was a bit tough. I was scared to push too hard. I had to tell myself to trust my body. I could only imagine what kind of recovery I was going to have if I pushed too hard. After awhile, I dropped it. Who cares? It’s was coming out whether I could control the pushing or not. Pushing would only get her in to my arms faster. I held my knees to my chest with my elbows out. Laura and Lorraine supported each leg. The contractions were long and I had to hold a push for 10 long seconds, take a quick breath and repeat two times. The first two were always really strong and the third was just exhausting. Even if I didn’t want to push hard my body was doing it on it’s own. Todds part was crucial to my delivery. More so than he knew. Once in awhile Todd would say “Dina push” or “your almost there, push”. I knew he could see what was going on so when HE would say something he would mean it. I didn’t scream, I grunted through the tough parts. I refused an episiotomy from the beginning so the resident started the perineum massage with mineral oil. I couldn't even think of how uncomfortable that was but I knew we were even closer now. The actual doctors job was to put the towel on my chest for when Maddy comes out. I knew we were even closer at that point.

The hard part! The resident or someone warned me that the next few pushes are going to hurt but to just push. Oh God..the ring of fire was coming. Sure enough I pushed with a big groan and literally saw a red burst of light with stars in my mind. I had never felt pain like that in my life. But it was very short lived and I knew the head was out! Get the rest out...that’s all I thought. GET IT OUT. I was told to stop pushing but F that...really. Work faster is what I thought. At that point I was told to reach down and I knew what that meant. I grabbed Madison by the armpits and pulled her to my chest. It was like a flood just came out but I couldn't think of anything. My baby was finally in my arms and bursting with noise! The song that was on was the Weight by Thrice. There couldn't have been a better song.

I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was with all that vernix on her. Her coloring was perfect. It was over. I felt no pain at that point. Todd and I cried and couldn't have been happier. I started to nurse and she latched on right away. Now that was uncomfortable. It was like a vacuum! As I nursed, the doctor started to stitch me up. Wow...uncomfortable again. I was relieved though because I figured since she was stitching me up, the placenta must have come out already. Wrong! The placenta was stubborn. They put me on pitosin to get me contracting faster, but it wouldn't move. They started massaging my very sore belly while the doctor tried to tug. I was beside myself. I had to give the baby up because I couldn’t hold her anymore. It felt like forever to get that bag out. I watched Todd stand next to the nurse while she evaluated Madison. I wanted to cry in pain at that point. Finally it was all over and my baby was returned to me. Bundled up like a little burrito with a cap.

To me...my delivery was perfect. It went better than I had ever expected. It was an ultimate test of what my body was capable of and it worked perfectly. I am forever grateful to the wonderful support team that I had. Without them, I could have easily given up. They kept me mentally stable and calm through the entire birth. It was a wonderful experience with the most amazing prize in the end.

Thanks for reading my very long story. :)

She's here! (From a Daddy's point of view)

It has been a long 2 months with a few bumps but it's all over and she is here!  A bit more work for Dina then me, but here is my story anyway.

I wake up around 1:00am to the shout of "My Water Broke!"   Like an stubborn Lindner of course I say "are you sure?"  I mean, how could she not be sure of a gush of water coming out of her?  Next thought, towels.  We had the waterproof liner over the matress already, whew...  So I grab some towels and wrap up Dina's lower half and she waddles to the toilet to let it all continue.  She calls the Doula, Laura and I step out to start preparing the suitcase, etc.  Dina hangs up pretty quickly and says Laura wants us to time the contractions.  I never even thought of that.  It's amazing how 9 months of training can suddenly slip out of your head in a minute.  Granted it was 1 in the morning and I was still slightly out of it.  

Dina and I move back to the bed after I lay some more towels down and we turn on The Ultimate Fighter (DVR).  I start to time contractions.  3, 3, 6 (must have missed one), 3, 2, 2.  Dina says call Laura back.  I say "let's just time one more."  Now, the rule is 3-2-1.  3 minute contractions that are one minute long for 2 hours.  Now, Dina has been having contractions for the past 7 weeks, so I haven't really been timing all of them.  In hindsight, she had probably been at 3 minutes for a few hours before the water broke but just never bothered saying anything (she was asleep too).  oh, back to me stalling on calling Laura...  Dina wasn't so happy with that, but once again, I'm stubborn and she has learned to pick her fights.  1.5 minute, 1.5 minute, 1...  Wait, 1 minute?  Are you sure honey?  "YES!"  So the contractions are now on top of each other.  Ok, at this point my head is less foggy and uhm, it's time to call Laura.

I call Laura this time because (in hindsight) Dina is in transition at this point.  This is the point where contractions basically never stop and overlap each other.  It is generally the most difficult point for women to get through in childbirth, and the point where most women lose their mind.  I had assumed we would be in a L&D room at the hospital at this point and I would be working lots of scented oils and massage magic while Dina shouts "YOU DID THIS TO ME" and simultaneously biting my arm.  I would be reassuring her that she is in transition and the goal is just around the corner.  Pushing starts very shortly after transition and normally doesn't take much time at all.  But I digress, this was all in my mind leading up to this day.  In actuality Dina is sitting next to me calm and collected with half a groan every 30 seconds having overlapping contractions.  I am on the phone with Laura and tell her the timings.  3, 3, 6, 3, 2, 2, 1.5, 1.5, 1 uhhh I try to explain it became hard to time them.  She asks me "what do you want to do Todd?"  WHAT?  I have to decide?  now I start getting nervous.  I give a typical dumb man's response of uhh uhh and between the Home Improvement re-enactment Laura hears Dina let out on of her own, much more intelligent and calm sounding, grunts (from the height of a contraction).  Laura immediately says "I'm meeting you in the hospital.  There is no time to labor at your house"   Now, when I heard this all of I sudden I realized this is serious.  We took Laura's class for 2 months so I understood her a bit, as we sat down a few weeks earlier and hired her as a Doula she reminded us that if labor is starting in the middle of the night it is best for everyone to try and finish a good nights sleep an not waste time in the hospital.  She (and everyone) prefers to arrive in the hospital at 6 cm.  I tell her it will probably take us an hour to get to the hospital (it is 20 minutes away, but we are not as prepared as we should be).

Dina works her way back to the toilet because she is still leaking quite a bit.  I start to pack the last minute things while getting Dina some clothes to wear.  That takes a bit because she can only talk for 30-60 second bursts between the contractions.  Dina begins complaining of pressure down in her bottom now.  Of course I just push that tidbit aside, but looking back she had completed transition and was now pushing (involuntarily).  I take a 3 minute shower and brush my teeth.  So does Dina and I remind her to take the automatic toothbrush out of her mouth during contractions.  I load the suitcase, diaper bag (after Dina packed the "take home outfit in it"), and Stem Cell donation kit in the car and pull out.  It's been about an hour since we told Laura we were leaving.  Between the slow packing and feeding the cats, etc it just took a while.

As we are driving the phone rings and I answer on the handsfree.  It is Laura asking if we are already in. I tell her we are driving and Dina lets out a grunt of a hello.  I buzz my Dad to let him know we are headed to the hospital.  Dina had already called the mothers and they were already enroute.  They actually showed up at the hospital about the same time we did (they stayed in the waiting room until after the birth).  We arrive at the hospital and Laura is very calming and supportive for Dina, which is good because my way of being soothing and supportive is to not say a word.  We have to pull into the ER because the main entrance is closed (it is 3:15am).  Dina refuses the wheelchair.  Sitting was nearly impossible for her, probably because the head was right there (or +2, whatever that means).

We slowly walk up to L&D while Dina stops every 2 minutes for a contraction and toe standing (I later learned this means she is fully dialated and pushing).  We are well acquainted with L&D after the pre-term labor at 32 weeks so I walk right to the desk with Dina's insurance card and ID and the first thing Dina says is "can we have a nice room?"  Later I learned all the nurses sighed right then because they figure she is only 2cm dialated and we are going to clog a room for 16+ hours on the day after a full moon (they were full BTW).  

We get in the room and our excellent nurse Lorainne examines Dina and says in shock she is fully dialated +2 and she can see the head.  WOW.  Good job baby!  I think we high fived.  Bad news is they can tell that the baby is sunny side up and it would be best to flip her over.  We knew this from the ultrasound a few days before also.  So Dina gets up on all fours and goes through some contractions with a little rocking.  I get the music going and we turn off the lights and it's just me, Dina, Lorainne and Laure.  They laughed a few times because of the music selection.  Whats wrong with Avenged Sevenfold, Evergreen Terrace, U2, and Between the Buried and Me?  Dina and I were talking to each other between the contractions, singing along, and making jokes.  Lorainne and Laura are beside themselves we are so calm.  It's in my blood I think...

After about 45 minutes little Madison hasn't turned over yet.  Laura has an idea to do some squats with one foot elevated.  She asks and Dina is not excited about moving but agrees.  She actually liked the squats, except for the fluid falling out.  Ewww.  We put a bunch of pads on the floor and I wipe down her leg a bit.  Dina was very thankful, I knew she wouldn't want to be standing there with amniotic fluid on her leg.

She moves from one leg up to the other, all while we have a spotlight on because the head is starting to crown and Lorainne doesn't want the baby to fall out.  Wouldn't that be horrible?  HA.  I can catch.

My job at this point is fanning Dina during contractions and letting her squeeze the heck out of my hands.  I should have taken off my ring because at one point I thought my adjacent fingers were going to snap.

Dina gets back up on the bed on all fours and Laura starts to open her hips with pressure on the outside of them squeezing in with her arms.  I have tried this move myself a few months ago and it really takes a lot of upper body strength.  We all know I don't have any of that, and Laura is petite.   Lorainne (who is training to be a Doula) says they should each get one hand of each hip and hold each others arms and pull towards each other.  Essentially doubling the pressure they can apply.  Laura says its much easier and Dina is loving the relief.  Then Dina yells WHOA I felt something.  A quick check and Madison has flipped over!  Good girl.  She was already in the birth canal so that much have been quite a trick.  

The resident comes in now and Dina moves to the traditional back position while holding her own legs with elbows up.  Now she starts pushing.  This we remember from class.  Lorainne is counting and Dina is pushing on queue.  It's a real workout.  I am standing to Dina's right side and even from her side I can see the head moving out with each push.  They use Mineral Oil and do the Perineal massage to reduce the risk of a bad tear.  For the 10 seconds of a push she moves out and then right back in.  Dina had a hard time getting a full push on the third 10 seconds of the contraction.  But it was fine.  Slowly and surely Madison crept forward.  It was probably good that Dina took a while with the pushing because it minimized the amount of tearing.

Now they take the bottom of the bed off and call in the Doctor.  The head is probably a good 2cm visible and moving down with each contraction.  I know its almost done so on the next contraction I speak up for the first time the whole night probably.  "Deep breath, push push push baby!"  "Come on, one more"  (after the third)  "It's almost there!"  I convince Dina to give 5 pushes on one contraction (2 more than usual) and that was it.  The head was out.  That was the only time she got loud, and let out an "Oh my god!"  and started quivering.  I knew it was because the pain skyrocketed past the point of comprehension.  Dina says she saw stars.  That's a pretty good safety mechanism.  The doctor tells Dina to give her her hands and Dina grabs Madison by the armpits and pulls her our and onto her chest.  The nurses frantically start yelling "skin-to-skin!" and unbutton Dina completely.  Madison lays down on her chest with eyes wide open looking at the two of us (I have a picture) and we are crying our eyes out in happiness.  About 3 seconds later they ask if I want to cut the cord.  Uhm no thank you, I'm a bit mentally overloaded right now.  10 seconds later they call out of confirm the time.  6:32 am.  The doctor had entered the room around 6:27 am.

Madison lets out her first cry and then latches on immediately (like a champ).  All 3 of us get bracelets with unique numbers on them and Madison gets a lo-jack attached to her umbilical cord end.  She is covered in Vernix and absorbing it quickly.  After about 45 minutes they take me and Madison over to a heater on the other side of the room for someone from the NICU to do her first doctors visit and measurements, etc. 8lb 6oz, 20.5".  She gets a clean bill of health (8/9 apgar, didn't cry immediately) and back to mommy.  Dina had been stitched up, took an ibuprofen, and given Pitocin to get the placenta out.  It took a good 30 minutes.  In the end the Doctor had to go in hands first and grab.  The cord, cord blood and placenta were boxed and donated for research and/or people who need it.

All in all a magical experience I would recommend to anyone.  My life has changed for the better.  We are a family now.  My wife is truly amazing and I love her.  Madison is perfect.

-Todd

People want to know if I have had the baby yet...

Here is the answer to that question:
http://www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/

Shopping with Mom!

Today my mommy came to NJ to spend some time with me. Yay! I took her to a great nearby town for some shopping. It was a beautiful day here and since Westfield is more like an outdoor mall, I thought it would be perfect to shop there. We bought Madison her Thanksgiving outfit and matching bib at The Children's Place. See? This baby has to come soon or we are going to go broke buying clothes. And when I mean "me", I mean me and my mom.

Our last store before lunch was Williams-Sonoma. While we walked around, we noticed some of the workers cleaning the floor. One worker yelled to the other "Is there a kid or a dog in here?". When I looked down, I saw some unknown fluid. I instantly got red in the face and all nervous that my water just broke in a public place. In this split second, I got all excited too. My mother was looking at me up and down and I discreetly rubbed my legs together. That doesn't take too much effort since my chubbo thighs rub all of the time! My mom gave me a look. I told her I felt nothing. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. My mom was just disappointed as she was all pumped to take me to the hospital. Oh well. haha.

Anyway, we had a great lunch and quality time together. The next time should include a baby though. :)

What I will and will not miss about being pregnant.

What I WILL miss:

-LO moving and hiccuping.

-An easy out when I don't feel like doing something.

-Eating fun foods that I would never eat.

-Spending quality time alone with DH

What I WONT miss:

-Needing a crane to get me in and out of bed.

-The thousands of pillows in the bed that really don't make me feel any more comfortable.

-Eating fun foods that I would never eat! (I am pretty sick of eating!)

-Walking slower than old people with canes.

-Waiting for her arrival.

Cream Cheese Cookies!

Waiting + Nesting = Baking. I haven't baked or really even cooked anything from scratch until now. Todd's grandmother used to make cream cheese cookies and I thought I would give them a shot. I googled the recipe and found this one. I fussed with a cookie press that I have had for over 10 years and never used. I have to say....they came out pretty good. You can find the recipe here. Nom Nom Nom!